Variations on The First Kiss
by The RyRy
Summary: A series of short ficlets documenting the various different ways that Gippal and Baralai could have shared their first kiss. [Gippalai]
1. I In The Moonlight

Author's Note: The following is a series of short ficlets (or drabbles) detailing a number of possible scenarios in which Gippal and Baralai would have shared their first kiss. These display a dramatic shift in time, environment, tone, and scenario from section to section. I'm not certain at this time how many of these there will be, but I do hope you enjoy them.

* * *

I.

Baralai woke up too often out in the desert. The shifting sands made small noises in the night, scratchings on the tent that sounded like animals trying to claw their way in. Every time the wind blew, he woke up.

He knew he needed sleep. He pulled his pack up over his head, hoping the canvas material would do something to block out the sound. Baralai rolled over to try to get to sleep again.

He blinked his eyes sleepily. Over in the corner of the tent, squeezed into the smallest space possible, was Gippal. The moonlight was strong tonight; it filtered in through the top of the tent and right onto his sleeping companion. Baralai watched him for a while. The Al Bhed was so peaceful in his sleep, seeming to be completely unaware of the dark, cold desert around them – also, he seemed not to notice, nor mind, that he was sharing a tent.

This very predicament had given Baralai much consternation. Baralai's own tent had been lost in a battle with one of the sand monsters – the worm, flying up out of the sands, had eaten it for dinner before Nooj had cut off its head. The tent was unsalvageable. Gippal had been kind enough to offer to share his. Baralai couldn't stomach sleeping in the same tent as Nooj – the noise would be even more prominent there – and it just wasn't proper to sleep in a tent with Paine, so Gippal seemed like the best option.

Baralai had prayed each night that he not be led into temptation. The moonlight on Gippal's skin, turning his hair a silver color with hints of gold – this was temptation. Baralai just wanted to look at him, to watch him all night instead of sleeping.

Oh Yevon, what had he gotten himself into? He really should have just gone to sleep outside, even in the stinging and biting windblown sand.

Before Baralai knew it, he was rising to his knees and crawling silently across the tent. Ostensibly, he wanted to close the bit of tent flap that had come open in the night. However, he wound up nowhere near the entrance – instead, he wound up by Gippal's side.

The sleeping Al Bhed was so peaceful – Baralai was preoccupied with this thought. Why? Was he jealous of the way Gippal could just fall asleep anywhere and slumber deeply until someone shook him awake? Was it just the fall of the moonlight on the features of this man – no, Baralai thought. Gippal was still a boy. At sixteen, Baralai was just leaving his home in Bevelle to go on his first voyage with Yevon. He remembered how immature he was, how unready he was for the world. Gippal must be the same.

"Gippal," Baralai mouthed silently. "Perhaps in two years, you won't be able to sleep so soundly."

He couldn't resist. Here he was, his temptation in front of him, his ultimate sin – and Baralai knew that he could just taste it and be okay. No one would have to know, and then perhaps his thirst would be quenched. No longer would he be tormented! He was weak to these things – Baralai knew that was his own greatest flaw. Temptation was too much. It was what had, after all, kept him from being a Summoner.

He leaned forward over his sleeping companion and chanced a kiss on his foreign, sinful mouth. There, so close, Baralai could smell him, could taste him – he was nothing like anything Baralai had been this close to before.

Their lips had barely brushed before Baralai knew he had to turn away. It was wrong and he knew it. A great feat of internal strength made him pull back from Gippal's lips, ready to retreat to his bedroll.

Before he could get all the way back, Baralai noticed with horrible embarrassment and shame that Gippal was awake -- and watching him go.


	2. II On His Knees

II.

"Oh Yevon, please forgive me for my sins. Cleanse my hands of the traces of this unholy, forbidden machina…"

Gippal couldn't help but listen. Baralai was only inches away, it seemed, and his prayer was so fervent – Gippal had never heard anything like it in his life. He had never heard anyone pray, really, except for the summoners; but he'd always ignored them.

"I hear the voices of the Fayth, and I know what I do is wrong. I find myself surrounded by temptation and conflicting actions. I know I trust the Maesters, but I've seen them using machina and I don't know what to believe…"

Gippal wondered what it was like to believe so unfailingly in something. He knew he believed in machina and in technology, but could not imagine praying to it. Sure, he sometimes talked to the parts, encouraging them to fit into their slots or work properly when they were malfunctioning – but that was a far cry from asking for forgiveness.

"And worse yet, I've befriended an Al Bhed—"

Gippal really started listening now.

"—and I think he's corrupting me. I've starting trusting him and even picking up his language, when I know such heathen acts are frowned upon—"

Gippal bit his lower lip to keep himself from speaking as he crept up on the praying Baralai.

"—forgive me for consorting with the enemy, with the heathens, but I have to. I have to trust someone, and we all have to work together—"

Gippal rolled his eye. Baralai was there, still kneeling with his eyes closed, praying without even knowing that Gippal was standing in front of him. With all the stealth that Gippal had ever learned, he knelt before Baralai. He couldn't believe the other hadn't noticed him – but such was the fervency of his prayer, Gippal supposed.

He wished he could believe in something like Baralai believe in Yevon.

"Yevon, grant me forgiveness for my errors. Forgive me for leaving Bevelle, for running away from Summoning, for handling the forbidden machina, for consorting with an Al Bhed—"

Gippal took Baralai by the cheeks and kissed him.

"—and for kissing him," Gippal finished, grinning at Baralai's perplexed look.


	3. III In The Office

III.

"You called us here," Gippal said, looking around at Baralai's office in the temple of Bevelle. "I didn't think you'd even come back yourself."

"It's the fastest way to make a difference," Baralai replied.

"You don't still believe, do you?"

"I don't know what I believe."

Gippal sighed; this place was giving him the creeps. "So why are we here?"

"The machina – you remember it?" Baralai seemed like he was avoiding Gippal's gaze. "It's here. And now it's gone."

Gippal was skeptical. "Not because you missed me?"

Baralai's eyes flew wide. "Of course – but –"

"Oh, so you _did _miss me."

Baralai narrowed his eyes.

"I knew it," Gippal said, his hands on his hips. "You missed me. I knew Yevon was nothing compared to me."

"What would you do if I actually _did _miss you?" Baralai interrupted.

Gippal turned to face Baralai, leaning in. "What would _you _do if you actually missed me?" he countered.

"This."

Baralai kissed him.


	4. IV As A Dare

IV.

There was little to do on these rainy days in the camp on Mushroom Rock Road. They were waiting to board the boats to take them to their first mission site – Bikanel, some had heard – but a fierce storm had just come in off the ocean, delaying their departure. The rains had destroyed the road and the surrounding grasslands, so any exercise was out of the question. Everyone was tired of having muddy clothes and then having to go out into the mud to clean their clothing; it was a neverending battle that would end only when the monsoon passed.

Gippal had taught the others to play _beka, _a game involving a pair of dice and quick hands. Nooj had even participated for a while, and did surprisingly well too – but then he had been called away by a couple of former Crusaders to talk shop. Gippal, Paine, and Baralai had continued to play, but _beka _swiftly grew boring with only three players. Paine had then taught them a game from her childhood called "Truth or Dare".

Gippal loved this game.

They played it for a couple of hours. Baralai always chose "truth" when faced with the question "Truth or Dare". He had recounted stories about his parents, the most embarrassing thing he'd done in a temple, and the reason he chose to join the religion, as well as a few other 'truths'. Gippal had particularly enjoyed the story of Baralai's failed magic spell that had resulted in an entire room of the temple being covered in peanut butter.

Paine mixed up her truths and dares. The boys had heard about a terrible sunburn that she'd gotten when she was seven, and about a childhood friend that she had kissed in the back corner of a weapons shop. Gippal had dared here to take off one of her many belts, which – much to his chagrin – did not result in her clothes falling off. Baralai had a much more innocent but perhaps more deadly dare – Paine had to go out, in the rain, and get into Nooj's tent and bring back something of his. She had presented them with a small dagger for her efforts, and then Gippal had to be the one to return it.

Gippal, however, always chose the dare option. The other two seemed to have a great time coming up with ridiculous things for him to do. He had taken off his boots and let the others look through all the various secret compartments. He had run out shirtless in the rain (even though the original dare had been to go out naked, but then Paine objected that she didn't want to see his nether regions). He had said and translated the worst curse he could think of in Al Bhed, but his most recent dare was the absolute worst.

"I dare you," Paine said, "to kiss Baralai."

"Kiss him?" Gippal replied, looking over at Baralai who seemed just as shocked. "Like, on the cheek kiss or on the mouth _kiss _kiss?"

Baralai's cheeks were flushing.

"_Kiss _kiss," Paine clarified, imitating Gippal's intonation.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Baralai objected.

"No, it's Gippal's dare," Paine replied quickly. "You get no say. Now, go on and kiss him."

"What if I don't do it?" Gippal asked. He thought he caught a glimpse of Baralai's expression falling.

"Then Baralai has to do it."

Baralai insisted, "Wait, I've never heard that rule—"

"Shut up," Paine said, smacking Baralai on the arm.

Gippal thought that this was all very suspicious, but he couldn't back down on a dare. "Alright Lai," he said, standing up and crossing the tent to where Baralai was. "You ready?"

"No," Baralai replied, but Gippal could see that he was very, very ready. He looked something like a boy who was about to get his first kiss, with his eyes all wide and his jaw quivering.

Baralai wanted Gippal to kiss him, Gippal realized suddenly. Well, he would be certain that Baralai enjoyed it. Gippal wasn't sure that he expected Baralai to kiss back, and so he was surprised to find Baralai slipping his tongue into his mouth and his arms around Gippal's shoulders. It was the first time Gippal had kissed another man; maybe it was just Baralai, but Gippal wondered if he had been missing something big all these years.

The kiss left Gippal breathless. Baralai looked pleased with himself, and when Gippal looked over to see Paine's reaction – she was gone.

Now, he understood what was going on.

"Baralai," Gippal said, turning an almost menacing grin on the other. "Truth or dare?"

Grinning brightly in return, Baralai responded simply, "Dare."


	5. V During A Visit

V.

It had been almost a year now since their trip to the Farplane with Vegnagun. Almost a year since Baralai had felt the terror of Shuyin flood through his body. Almost a year since Yuna had been hailed a savior yet again.

And over the past year, Baralai had found things to do. He'd cleaned up the temples, he'd rewritten the moral code of New Yevon to read less like a religious tract, and now he was maintaining good ties with the other factions to keep the peace in Spira.

The problem was that over the past year, Baralai had found numerous problems with the Al Bhed in Djose.

No, that wasn't true, and Baralai knew it as soon as he saw the doors of the former temple open up and Gippal step out through them. He was finding _excuses _to visit Djose. First, the declaration of human rights, modified to include the Al Bhed. Then the treatise on machina, which Baralai wanted to run by Gippal before giving to the masses. Then, ostensibly, a lost scroll in the back room. And this time, a contract for fixing the lifts in Bevelle.

Baralai didn't need to go visit, and he knew it. He could have sent a messenger, or even communicated via CommSphere, but he always found a _reason _to go. He didn't particularly like Djose, or consorting with the Al Bhed, and so every time he watched those doors open, Baralai wondered exactly what he was doing here.

Then he saw Gippal, and the Al Bhed gave him that characteristic grin, and Baralai didn't care why he had come here.

"Lai," Gippal said, approaching his friend and putting his hands on the other's shoulders. Baralai felt a chill run through his spine at this touch. "You actually came?"

"I did," Baralai replied. "I have a work order for you guys."

Was Gippal's smile dropping, or was Baralai imagining things? "A work order," Gippal replied, taking the parchment from Baralai's hands. "Nice. I've, uh, probably got a couple of guys who can do that."

"Alright then," Baralai replied, watching Gippal sign the work order. "I can expect you in a week, then?"

"Me?" Gippal replied with a laugh. "You actually expect _me _to go on work orders?"

"I meant," Baralai tried to cover, "I meant your men. You know. Not you." He felt his breath catching. "But you can come if you want. Not that you have to."

Gippal just stared at him. "Well, alright," he replied after a moment. "I mean, I don't like Bevelle much, but I'll, uh, I mean, thanks." He scratched the back of his head – another characteristic Gippal move. "Or something."

Baralai watched him for a long moment, and then realized that it was about time for him to leave. This visit was far too short. "Alright," he said finally. "I guess I… should be off."

"Yes," Gippal replied.

Why was this so awkward? Usually they could talk or laugh or something, but now it was like they were struggling to avoid something altogether.

"Okay," Baralai said, feeling the awkwardness surrounding him like a fog. "I'll, um, see you later."

Just as Baralai was turning to leave, to go back to where he could board his airship, he heard Gippal's voice say, "Wait, Lai."

Baralai turned around. "Gippal?"

Gippal was looking down at the ground, toeing at a stone that was trying to come loose from the dirt. "You want to, uh, stay? For a while?" He looked up. "I mean, for dinner. Or something. It's – I barely get to see you anymore."

Baralai knew that wasn't true. He was out here at least once a week, recently, but this invitation from Gippal was too good to pass up. He had made plenty of excuses to come out here – it was about time that Gippal made an excuse for him to stay.

It was certainly a welcome excuse and a welcome dinner with the Al Bhed, even in the company of the other inhabitants of the temple. Baralai couldn't keep his eyes off of Gippal for the whole night, and Gippal seemed to be suffering from a similar ailment. Finally, here they were, together and spending time with each other; this was something Baralai had craved since they split up on the Mi'ihen Highroad almost three years earlier.

Having thoroughly enjoyed the evening, Baralai was getting ready to make his exit when Gippal took him by the arm. "Hey," he said to Baralai. "There's something we found. I think you should have it."

Baralai raised his eyebrows. "What is it?"

"Come on, I'll show you."

Gippal led Baralai into a back room of the temple, where he produced a small ornate box. Gippal handed it over to Baralai, who slid the lid of the box open. Inside was a small, nondescript circlet. Baralai recognized it instantly as an item that a summoner would wear – it was probably an enchanted accessory meant to focus the power of the aeon.

It was definitely something that would be greatly welcomed back in Bevelle.

"Thank you," Baralai said, looking down into the box and gently touching the circlet. "This is a very important item."

"What is it?" Gippal asked, touching the other side of the circlet.

"It's a circlet," Baralai explained, putting the box down on a nearby table. "Meant to be worn across the forehead – you've seen some summoners, this is an enchanted accessory for them."

Gippal nodded, reaching in and picking it up. "This is enchanted?" he asked, eyeing it curiously.

"Maybe not in your hands," Baralai teased.

"Then I can only think of one person who fits it," Gippal said while, completely unexpectedly, reaching forward and putting it on Baralai's head.

Baralai could feel it sitting awkwardly on his bandana, and how the back edge caught in his hair as Gippal tried to adjust it. "Gippal," he said, reaching up to try to remove the circlet. Their hands met, fingers brushing. "You've got it caught—"

"Oh, sorry," Gippal said, leaning forward as he dislodged the circlet from Baralai's hair.

Baralai inhaled quickly. Gippal's face, a breath away from his own. He could smell the sweet remnants of the _lyldic _that they'd had for dinner on him. He wondered, vaguely, if Gippal could smell it on him too.

The circlet was free of the hair, but Gippal was still there, still close, and Baralai realized that he was being watched. It was difficult, he realized, to realize that Gippal was looking at him; with one eye, it seemed like it would be easy to see, but without two eyes on his two eyes, it was deceptive. And Baralai looked back, only one of his eyes having a match, and he found himself looking too far off to the right to make eye contact.

This was an unexpected predicament. Baralai never quite realized that a romantic look with Gippal, would be so difficult to achieve. But once he was there, Baralai realized that this was the moment that he'd been finding all those excuses for. He had made all these trips to Djose just so he could be right here, eyes locked with Gippal, a breath away from him.

Baralai couldn't resist. He couldn't stop himself. He had never been impulsive, but the realization that he had been longing for this one particular moment overtook him.

He kissed Gippal.

The kiss was slow and unforced. Baralai knew that Gippal could see it coming, probably even feel it. Baralai's lips brushed Gippal's upper lip, feeling a slight growing of fine hair there, an indication that Gippal shaved in the mornings. Their lips barely touched, Baralai feeling out the situation to see if Gippal was going to pull away.

He didn't. Baralai took this as a good sign, and leaned in again. Their lips met in a real kiss now, Gippal holding Baralai's lower lip between his own. Baralai's nose brushed Gippal's, both of their eyes closed, and Baralai held his breath.

Gippal's arms wound their way around Baralai's neck, and Baralai found his hands laced through Gippal's blonde spiky hair. His middle finger slid over the strap of the eyepatch, and Gippal inhaled just slightly. It seemed to Baralai that they were both much more preoccupied with what they were doing with their hands than their mouths.

Then again, he thought, that was probably a natural thing for an Al Bhed. All of the Al Bhed he knew had always been such tactile people, and Gippal was prime among them.

Finally, Baralai took a chance and deepened the kiss. He opened his mouth and their tongues met, and Baralai realized that Gippal tasted nothing like what he thought he would taste like. Somehow, he thought, Gippal tasted sweet, like the _lyldic _they had eaten for dinner. He wondered how much of that was attributable to their evening cuisine and how much was just Gippal's inherent flavor.

It seemed like several minutes that they stood there, exploring each other's mouths and bodies, until Gippal pulled away. Baralai was readying an apology when Gippal spoke first. "Lai," he said, out of breath. "Please tell me you meant that."

Baralai's heart skipped a beat. "Gippal, I meant it. Every moment of it."

Gippal smiled broadly. "Do you…?" he started, seeming to be unable to finish his question.

Baralai didn't care what the end of the question was. Whatever it was, he agreed wholeheartedly.


	6. VI For His Life

VI.

Baralai had been wounded. A fiend had stabbed him in the hip with a long, poisonous claw, instantly taking him from battle. Nooj had stepped up, decapitating the desert fiend before it could do more damage, and Paine had put down her recorder to drag Baralai away from the scene of the fight.

Once Nooj and Gippal were sure all the fiends were dispatched, they looked for Baralai and Paine. They had to search for a while, bubt eventually they found them huddled together near the wall of rock they had camped beside. The night had been peaceful until the fiends interrupted their sleep.

"Salve," Paine was saying. "He's poisoned. I need the salve—"

"We ran out yesterday," Nooj said slowly, looking down at Baralai. "Any antidotes?" he asked Gippal.

"No…" Gippal said, trailing off as he looked at Baralai writhing in pain in the sand.

"We have to do something," Paine said desperately. "Those things are highly toxic, and—"

"Let me," Gippal suggested, dropping his gun as he kneeled next to Baralai. "I'm used to cleaning those scorpion wounds. That spring over there – you guys guard us."

"Okay. Paine, take his gun," Nooj ordered.

"If you need anything, just yell," Paine said before going with Nooj to guard the camp.

"Okay Lai," Gippal said as they left. "Hold on to me. I have one potion left but I've gotta clean the wound before using it. I'm gonna carry you, okay?"

Baralai looked like he was completely out of it. His body was starting to shake. Gippal gave up on talking and lifted him up, carrying him over his shoulder to the spring.

They had chosen to camp in this place because of the water source nearby, a rarity in the desert. They had drunk and bathed and cooked with this water, and Gippal hoped now that it would save Baralai's life. He floated him in it, stripping away his clothes – only momentarily being embarrassed for touching Baralai's heavily clothed genitalia – and began to clean the wound. The scorpion tail had not pierced the bone, thankfully, but the flesh of Baralai's left hip was decidedly mangled. It was hard for Gippal to reach into the bloody mess; he couldn't disconnect himself from it like he could when he was working on Nooj. Holding back his gag reflex, Gippal did what he could to scrape out the remaining pieces of tail and flush water through the wound. He removed a gooey pointy thing which he thought must have been the stinger – now that the source of the poison was removed, Baralai had a chance to survive.

"Drink," Gippal ordered him, lifting Baralai up and preparing to shovel water into his mouth. "Drink it, get the poison out of your—"

He hadn't even gotten the water into Baralai's mouth when he began choking. Gippal panicked. His lungs could be shutting down due to the effect of the poison, and he had little time to do anything about it. "No," Gippal said, tipping Baralai back. "No, you can't do this to me! Not after all that work to clean your wound!"

Baralai didn't seem to care about Gippal's protests. His eyes flew open and he struggled to inhale, and Gippal knew that time was quickly running out. He pulled Baralai out of the spring, lying him flat on the ground with his head on the pile of wet pants and underclothes, and started to perform CPR. This resuscitation technique was something he'd learned as a young man, but he'd never had to use it – until now.

He inhaled, and began to breathe for Baralai. Between breaths, he pushed on Baralai's chest to stimulate blood flow, but it was taking too long. "Come on come on," he whispered between breathes. "Baralai, don't give up on me."

Gippal could feel himself getting desperate. He had never considered himself a romantic, but even Gippal couldn't escape all the romatic stories about people bringing their loved ones back from the dead with a kiss. Baralai was hardly his lover, but Gippal _was _rather desperate. H had always had an element of superstition to him, and, if this worked, he vowed to tell everybody.

So, after a quick inhale and a request, "If you live, don't kill me for this", Gippal kissed Baralai.

It wasn't a chaste kiss, or anything even remotely resembling chastity. Gippal figured that, if he were to come back to life for a kiss himself, it wouldn't be for something little and chaste. So he opened his mouth and used his tongue to entice Baralai back to the living world.

It didn't take long for it to work. Baralai's eyes shot open and he coughed hard – Gippal barely had enough time to escape the fluid that Baralai was coughing up. After turning on his side and producing a number of strange liquids from his mouth – all while Gippal watched in shock – Baralai looked up and said, his voice scratchy, "Were you _kissing _me?"

Gippal froze. "Um," he said, then paused. Had he actually promised to tell everyone? _Cred._ "Yes."

Baralai seemed like he had been expecting that answer. "I didn't realize you were a necrophiliac—"

"What!" Gippal couldn't believe what he was hearing. "No! I was – I was giving you CPR and you were dying and I'd heard stories and _anything _to save you—"

"Gippal," Baralai said, interrupting after another gut-wrenching cough. "I was teasing."

Gippal felt his diatribe slow to a stop. "Oh."

"I'd return the favor," Baralai informed him, "but Yevon knows what I taste like right now."

Gippal blinked, shocked at this development. "Raincheck?" was the only thing he could think to suggest.

Baralai grinned, despite his condition. "Raincheck."


	7. VII As An Apology

VII.

"I can't believe Nooj sent us here," Gippal whispered, peeking down through the grate that led to the small gathering room in the Djose temple. "I know he wants to find out what the Maesters want with the whole Crimson Squad thing, but sneaking around in a Temple? What if we get caught? What if we miss our orders? What if--?"

"What if you don't be quiet, and we end up getting caught?" Baralai snapped in a whisper.

Gippal had never seen Baralai be so snappy as he was this evening. It seemed like being in a dangerous situation really changed Baralai in some basic way. He was unnaturally quiet and seemed to know how to do things like navigating air ducts – things that Gippal never thought a guy like Baralai would know. Vaguely, Gippal wondered if Baralai had always been the soft spoken priestling that he was now, even as he followed him through the passageway leading to a nice place to overhear conversation in the main room.

Priests came from all walks of life, Gippal had heard. He wondered where Baralai had walked before this.

As he watched Baralai gently coax the wooden vent doors open, Gippal listened. He heard no voices engaged in conversation, and looking through the vent revealed no one standing in the room below. Gippal took the opportunity to whisper, "Hey, how do you know how--?"

"Be quiet!" Baralai mouthed, putting his hand over Gippal's still-open mouth.

Right, Gippal thought, they were trying to sneak around. He had never been one for being secretive. He was loud, brash, and enjoyed his occasional excessive displays of bravado. He wasn't good at this sneaking around kind of thing, and it seemed like Baralai was starting to notice that.

After peeking in a few more empty rooms, it was becoming very evident that the temple was completely and utterly empty. Gippal couldn't help but make his assessment of the situation. "Well, this was a total waste of time."

"Not so," Baralai replied in barely a whisper. "You know more about Djose now than most other people." He jumped down out of the vent onto the dirt outside the temple.

Gippal followed him, somewhat glad to be out of those narrow ducts. "Yeah, like I'll ever use that knowledge."

Before he could make another remark, Gippal found himself pulled down to the ground, with Baralai's hand pulled over his mouth before he could yelp.

They were a short way from the temple, just off the side of the road, hidden behind a small mound of stone and grass and flowers. The voices of Maester Kinoc and his entourage floated over the mound to their ears.

"Bikanel," Kinoc was saying. "Ready the ships. We'll test their survival skills and weed out the weaklings."

"Yes sir," a young-sounding acolyte said, his voice squeaking in a pubescent testosterone lapse. "The ships are in the bay. I will go deliver your message."

To Gippal's horror, the footsteps of the departing acolyte came in his and Baralai's direction. He looked at Baralai, who was pulling his bandana up over his hair. Gippal was about to smack him for worrying about his hair at a time like this, but then Baralai grabbed Gippal around his hips and pushed him down into the dirt. "Squirm and speak Al Bhed," he whispered into Gippal's ear.

Gippal had no idea what was going on, so he did as Baralai said. He squirmed and asked Baralai what he was doing, "Fryd yna oui tuehk?"

Baralai didn't respond. Instead, he put his hands up Gippal's shirt and then down the front of Gippal's pants. Gippal really squirmed as Baralai's fingers touched his penis and began to pull down his pants. Gippal registered that Baralai was practically shouting, "Filthy Al Bhed, sneaking around the temple! I'll show you a lesson—"

Gippal felt panic rise into his chest. What was Baralai doing? Was he really going to rape him, like he'd heard in all those stories about the Yevon clergy when they caught Al Bhed? Sweet, soft spoken Baralai wouldn't do that – but Gippal had seen another side to him already, and that side had frightened him enough. What else was there to this man? Gippal had only known him a few days, and he cursed himself for trusting a Yevonite. He started fighting, trying to turn to face Baralai, but the other man was bigger and stronger than he was.

Suddenly, there was a gasp – the acolyte. Gippal had completely forgotten about him with all of this going on.

"Ridding the area of vermin," said Baralai.

Gippal thought he saw the acolyte _smiling. _"Carry on," the boy – probably younger than Gippal – said, then walked on down the road.

Baralai continued his actions, and Gippal renewed his fight. He wanted to believe in Baralai, but this was too much. He had lost his pants now, but that didn't mean he couldn't still battle Baralai; Gippal reached up and grabbed him by the shoulders and tried to flip him. This didn't work – they both ended up tumbling down the small hill leading to the river below. Gippal's pants that were down around his ankles at the beginning, finally fell completely off as their tumble slowed to a stop.

Gippal scrambled to his feet, reaching for his knives – but they were still attached to his pants. He crouched, ready to attack if Baralai came at him again – and then run away and go back to Home. He knew it was a mistake to get involved with Spirans.

But Baralai was laughing.

"What are you laughing at?!" Gippal demanded, going over to his pants and quickly retrieving one of his knives. "You're just as sick as the rest of them!"

"No – no, Gippal, put your pants on, relax." Baralai was obviously trying to hold back a laugh. "I can't believe that worked."

"What?" Gippal was pulling on his pants. He was very confused, and therefore very wary of Baralai. "Your attempt to rape—"

"No, my attempt to escape notice of Kinoc." Baralai sat down on the grass, drawing his knees up to his chest. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

This was the Baralai that Gippal thought he knew. The concerned look, the wispy voice – who was this man, and where had he come from? "No," Gippal answered, buckling his belt and sheathing his knife. "Just my pride. Why did you do that?"

Baralai shrugged. "How else to explain an Al Bhed and a Yevonite hiding in the bushes?"

"We could have fought them—"

"No," Baralai replied. "Maesters are extraordinarily powerful, and one was just a short distance away. We would have been killed."

"So you used me."

Baralai looked up. "Of course I did. You're valuable in many ways." To Gippal's disbelieving stare, Baralai continued, "You have to use whatever you have available to survive. Someday, hopefully, you can use _me_."

Gippal shook his head. "But did you have to use me like _that_?"

Baralai tried to smile. "I meant it with love?" he suggested.

Gippal had to laugh as he sat down next to Baralai on the ground. "Well, if that's the case, can I at least get a kiss next time?"

"You can get one right now."

"Can I?" Gippal responded, putting his arm teasingly around Baralai's shoulders. "You sure you want to kiss this filthy Al Bhed mouth?"

Baralai laughed simply and, to Gippal's complete shock, actually kissed him.


	8. VIII Before We Die

VIII.

The Crimson Squad candidates had been talking. They called this cave the "den of woe". They said that this was the final mission. No one could have missed the news reports of people disappearing in this very cave – anyone who went in never came out.

Baralai had been praying – better described as talking to the Fayth. Bahamut was his home aeon, and sometimes it soothed Baralai to send prayers. This time, the feeling was hardly soothing. Baralai had received an overwhelming sense of dread and fear from the Fayth – or was it from within Baralai himself?

Either way, Baralai was afraid. This could be his last night in the world, before a passing summoner could send him to the Farplane – or would it happen that way? Would he just turn into a fiend and lose himself permanently, to be killed by wandering warriors? What sort of fiend would he make?

Thinking about these things made Baralai shudder in fear. Gippal had obviously noticed this – he was now crouching down next to Baralai, hand on his shoulder. "Don't listen to the talk," he was saying. "We made it out of the desert alive. What's some cave compared to that?"

"It's just—" Baralai started to explain.

"It's psyched you out," Gippal finished for him. "I know – look, can I help? Can I take your mind off of it?"

Baralai shook his head. "There's nothing you can do. I just need to face my own death." He chanced a look up at Gippal, the other's face partially illuminated by the dying fire.

"Tch, Lai, you're not gonna die," Gippal informed him.

"And why not?"

"You haven't had sex yet—"

"—where did you hear that?"

"—and virgins can't die."

Baralai shook his head. "I think your logic is flawed in more ways than one."

"So," Gippal continued, as though Baralai hadn't said anything. "If you're trying to face death, you'd better hurry up and have sex before tomorrow."

Baralai laughed bitterly. "I don't understand you. Who would have sex with me anyway? Dare I ask?"

"Me."

"You?" Baralai stared at Gippal. "Wait, are you propositioning me for sex?"

"Maybe," Gippal teased. "Could be that I need to hurry up and have sex before tomorrow too."

"Oh, I see your plan now," Baralai replied. He scooted away from Gippal a short way, sitting down on the hard ground. "Are you trying to convince me that you're a virgin?"

"No, maybe I just don't want to die without having sex again." Gippal turned his body and sat down so that he was next to Baralai again.

"Or you're just jealous of Nooj and Paine."

"That too," Gippal replied with a smirk. "You can't say you aren't."

"Not really," Baralai said, staring off into the embers of the fire. "They seem happy."

"Ugh," Gippal said, shaking his head. "You could be happy too, you know."

"What, with you?"

Gippal turned and faced Baralai, putting his hands on Baralai's knee. "Just for tonight, Lai," Gippal pleaded. "I don't want to wake up wondering _what if_, and I don't want to die that way either."

Baralai looked at Gippal, barely sixteen years old, and suddenly thought he might know where the boy was coming from. "Just for tonight?" he asked, his eyes falling on Gippal's hands.

"Yeah. We can pretend we're long time lovers on the beach, or that we're strangers in the night – whatever." Gippal seemed like he was trying to look anywhere but at Baralai. "I just… want to be with—"

Baralai stopped him before he could say anything more. "What if we pretend we're soldiers," he said, putting his hands on Gippal's shoulders, "who have spent every waking hour for weeks together, and who have realized they're attracted to each other? What if we pretend that we just want to know each other this way too, before we both die?"

Gippal was looking at him now, his one Al Bhed eye searching across Baralai's face. Baralai felt like an exhibit on display. Finally, Gippal spoke, "I think that sounds good to me."

Before Baralai could register what had happened, they were kissing each other. He vaguely felt himself falling backwards, his back hitting the ground – mostly, Baralai was aware only of Gippal's mouth on his and their bodies tangling in the dust.


	9. IX At The Beginning

_Author's Note: I always asked myself why, in Crimson Record 1, did Baralai not introduce himself to Gippal – yet they already seem friendly. This may be why._

IX.

A large group of recruits had arrived the night before training was to begin, and they were now camping out alongside Mushroom Rock Road. Several of them had gotten the briefing on the Squad already, complete with the big list of rules – no leaving during training, no consorting with people outside the squad, no outside weapons brought into camp, and – worst of all – no sexual relations during training.

Almost immediately, recruits were crawling around looking for partners for the night. They were a grizzly group, and certainly not attractive to the young Al Bhed man walking through the ranks. He wrinkled his nose, adjusted his eyepatch, and found a secluded spot for himself on the other side of the road.

At least, he thought it was secluded. When he stepped over the log he'd hoped to sleep behind, he found another body, draped in a green summoner's robe. He almost stepped on it. "Cunno," he apologized instinctively.

"Pardon?" asked the body. It sat up, revealing a young man who looked to be about the same age as the Al Bhed. In the dark, he looked to be clean and well-groomed, which was a striking difference from the rest of the group.

"Uh," said the Al Bhed, switching to the Spiran language that he was so adept at. "Sorry. I almost stepped on you."

"Oh, that is alright," said the Yevonite. "I was a bit hidden back here. I am surprised anyone found me."

The Al Bhed laughed, sitting down on the log. "You probably have the same idea that I do."

"Getting away from the rest of the group," the Yevonite replied.

"Exactly." The Al Bhed looked over, surprised that this Spiran was even talking to him. There was an old saying – a Yevonite would sooner shoot an Al Bhed than tell him his name. "I can't believe these guys. They hear that they won't be able to have sex for a few days and they go crazy."

"Is that what it is?" The Yevonite was sitting up now, next to the Al Bhed, with his knees drawn to his chest.

"Yes, and they all stink," the Al Bhed added.

The Yevonite laughed. "Now you know why I'm over here."

Rocking back and forth on the log, the Al Bhed realized that he was close to being out of options. He didn't want to sleep too far from the road, or fiends would get him in the night. He didn't want to sleep too close to the road, or a sex-crazy Spiran might get him in the night. Here, with this other guy, seemed to be the best option.

"Can I stick around over here?" he asked finally.

The Yevonite looked up at him warily. "You won't try anything?"

"Not unless you want me to," the Al Bhed answered.

The other was silent for a long moment. "You seem nice," he said at last. "And you don't stink – too badly."

"Hey!" The Al Bhed reached down and shoved the shoulder of the other man. "Maybe I'll just leave you to the fiends."

"I can take care of them."

"Yeah, that's what they all say. I guess I should stay here just so you don't get eaten."

"Mm-hmm." The Yevonite half-stood and sat down on the log, instead of being on the ground. He straddled it so he could face his nighttime companion. "Maybe you are just scared."

"Me?" The Al Bhed put on his best indignant face, even though he got the impression that the other was kidding. "I'm not scared of anything – except maybe those sex crazy Sp — uh, guys over there." He forced himself to amend his mistake – only an Al Bhed would refer to others as 'Spirans'.

"I know," the Yevonite sighed, apparently not picking up on the Al Bhed's slip. "If I were to want to have sex tonight, it wouldn't be like that."

The Al Bhed raised his eyebrow – the only one really visible anymore. "How _would _it be?" he dared to ask.

"Over here, in a quiet secluded space where we could hear the water, away from all the rabble." He looked over at his companion. "But then you came along."

"Well, sorry for interrupting," the Al Bhed teased. "But I don't think anyone else will come this way tonight. Looks like they're done registering people."

"I know." The Yevonite turned his head to look in the direction of the road, and the crazed orgy that seemed to be going on. "So I guess I'll just have to settle for you." He was smiling slightly.

"Well, you do seem nice," the Al Bhed replied, then added, "And you don't stink too badly."

The Yevonite narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. "So you are actually taking me seriously."

"Sure, why not?"

"I thought you would run off, thinking I was just another of those _Spirans_."

So he had been caught. "You're Al Bhed friendly?"

"They have always been kind to me," the Yevonite replied. "You included."

"You're a summoner," the Al Bhed informed him. "We kidnap your kind."

"Yes." The Yevonite turned his head, looking off toward the water. "And you did, and saved me from going on to my certain death."

The Al Bhed stared at him for a moment. "So it actually worked? The kidnapping thing?"

The other man shook his head. "Listen, I do not really want to talk about this."

"Alright," the Al Bhed acquiesced. "You really want me with you tonight?"

"If you'll stay." Then, he added, "And, possibly, be quiet. I have a feeling we will have enough noise over the next few weeks."

"I can do that." The Al Bhed put his arm around the other's shoulder. "Is there something better I should be doing with my mouth?" he teased into the other's ear.

"I can think of a few things," said the Yevonite, and then he kissed his companion.

Little did they both know, as they spent the night in the other's arms, that the very next day they would be assigned to the same squad.


	10. X At The End

X.

After fifty years – a remarkable lifespan for the people of Spira – Gippal was finally dying of the same ailment that struck many Al Bhed. They called it _aqbucina, _or "exposure". There were a number of reasons that they used to explain the sickness – too much sun, too long in the desert in their childhood, toxins left over in the desert from ancient wars – but there was no known cure for the slow onset of blindness and the loss of mental capacity that led to a sad death.

Perhaps fortunately for Gippal, he had contracted an illness that would kill him before he lost his grip on reality. He had first complained of being tired, then he had gotten a fever, and now he was getting a rash on his skin typical of a common Spiran infection. Whereas a simple Esuna spell coupled with some rest would normally cure this simple infection, Gippal's system was poisoned already by _aqbucina _andwas rejecting magical healing. No salve could even touch the infection, and so it was slowly killing him.

Baralai spent much time with Gippal, keeping him comfortable and trying every healing technique he knew. He even came up with a few new ones, but nothing was working. Baralai was sure that these were Gippal's last days – he had forced the litany of visitors to stay outside so only Gippal's closest friends could be with him.

Yuna had sent a prayer to the Fayth for him (although without telling him, since undoubtedly Gippal would have been uncomfortable with that). Paine had embraced him for several long and silent minutes, and Rikku had come in and yelled at him for dying too early. Gippal had asked Rikku to look after the Machine faction, and she had agreed only if Paine could help her. Paine seemed happy for the project – she had been devastated after the loss of Nooj years prior, due to complications with his prosthetics.

Finally, Gippal was down to his last moments. Baralai could feel his hands shaking and hear his breathing grow labored from his position at the side of his bed. The small group stood around him, everyone touching him gently as if to ease him to the Farplane. The Al Bhed as a race normally didn't like the Farplane, didn't think they belonged there, but long ago Baralai and Gippal had harassed each other about what they'd do in their afterlife. Baralai had always thought the Farplane would be a peaceful place – even after his venture there with Shuyin thirty years ago – and Gippal had promised to follow him there, even in death, to make it anything _but _peaceful.

Sitting here watching his friend, Baralai hoped that Gippal meant it when he made that promise.

Gippal murmured something. "Baralai," he said, his voice cracking. "All these years, all those times we fought even though we were supposed to be working together—"

"It has been a pleasure," Baralai assured him, stroking his hand.

"—I loved you."

Baralai paused. What did one say to a declaration like that from a dying man? "I love you too, Gippal—"

"No, I mean, I _really _loved you." Gippal turned his head slightly, looking at Baralai with his tired, bloodshot eye. On the other side of Gippal, Rikku gasped and eyed Baralai warily, as if to say _You'd better not mess this up_. "I realized the other day that you've been here all along, taking care of me – I couldn't die without telling you."

"Gippal," Baralai said, his voice lower than he had intended. He wanted to deny it, to tell Gippal to stop, but he couldn't say those things to a dying man… and certainly Gippal wouldn't tease him with his last breaths… or would he? Baralai chose to believe that he wouldn't, although it would have been fitting. He simply said, "Thank you."

Gippal grinned, a welcome expression on his tired features. "I wish I'd realized earlier."

Baralai watched him smile, and his mind filled with possibilities of what might have been. Yes, Gippal was an almost constant thorn in his side over the years, but could it have been otherwise?

Could Baralai have learned to love him back?

Did he already love him back?

Baralai felt Gippal's hand stiffen and his body go rigid. It was time.

Yuna gasped and Paine put her hand on Yuna's shoulder. Rikku gripped Gippal's other hand, and Baralai leaned over to look in his eye one last time.

What could have been? Baralai wondered. He didn't know what could have been, but he knew what _was _right then. Gippal was dying, and Baralai had been trying all along to make him comfortable. It would be easy, now, to make him _happy_.

Baralai leaned in and kissed Gippal delicately. "Goodbye, my friend," he whispered.

"See you on the Farplane," were Gippal's last words.

When his body stilled as his spirit left for eternity, Baralai pulled back and exhaled. "I'll see you soon," he said simply.


End file.
